pray hardest when it's hardest to pray

 Warning!!
 ! this post has no outfit post just a story about my FAITH!


Dear Love Bugs,

Today I am going to talk to you about something else. . . well I have spoken to you about this before but I feel like I need to speak to you again.  If you have read my blog before you would know that before fashion before OOTD before friends before EVERYTHING . . . come Jesus and my faith. We all know how safe I feel in Church and How much praying helps me. Well a few weeks ago some shit happened and I was lost again! Had no idea what I was going to do with my life I needed Jesus then more than ever . . . For some reason I just had all this anger in my heart and I couldn't pray. It was so weird it happened to me before but this time it was different. . . I felt that sort of disconnection with Jesus that I hated but this time  I WASN'T GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN! Someone once told me that it was the devil trying to interfere with my relationship with God and every time I have doubt in my heart about my faith it's the devil. Well as crazy as this sounds at this very moment I knew it was something keeping me away from praying so despite the fact I found it hard to pray I PRAYED and I PRAYED HARD!!! .. . I asked Jesus to help me that im sorry at this moment I just don't have a connection but I will and asked him to bring me to him again TO FIGHT THIS URGE I HAVE TO SAY EFF THIS!!! I remember praying this exactly

Jesus,

My Savior, right now its really hard to have faith although every time I needed you in my life you were there. Right now I find it hard to call out your name for help like Peter did when he fell in the water. Please Please help me get through this. I love you and I know you are here I just cant feel it rt now!! Let God's will be done!

Amen

I knew I had to force myself to pray because I knew deep down my soul needed it, my heart needed it. I was so disappointed in myself that I even had any of these feelings but I knew God would forgive me as he always does. A few days later life started to change for me. My friend called me about the store. We decided to open it up got approved by who we needed and other things started to happen. My dreams slowly started to come true. I knew I had Jesus to thank but again I felt so ashamed for ever doubting him. I was going through INSTAGRAM OF ALL THINGS  and someone posted the image above. That moment I realized maybe I am not the only person who finds it hard to pray and maybe just when I think I've lost all faith and hope is exactly when it comes out stronger then ever before.

Moral of this blog is have faith - - - IT IS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN!!! Jesus has your back even when you think you are alone!

Jesus,

Thank you for everything you do for me. . . especially when I least deserve it! I love you!

btw sorry to bore you with this story but I felt i needed to write it. . . maybe someone is having a hard time and they just need to know someone somewhere felt like they did once.




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